I think part of growing up – a painful part – is coming to truly realize that nothing lasts forever.  I don’t mean this in the intellectual sense, in that you know you will get older, you will live in different places, change jobs, meet new people, etc.  That understanding comes rather easily as one observes things change over time or even with a simple study of history; it’s theoretical and resides in your brain.  I am rather referring to a true integration into the self of a realization, involving all the senses, in which you know in the midst of an experience that it is a moment you will never have again.  Without having to stop and think it through, your mind instantly comprehends the fleeting nature of the moment and that you must savor every aspect of it before it passes.   This kind of insight is harder to acquire and seems to come only after experiencing a great loss which shakes you to your core.  Maybe in realizing that you didn’t fully appreciate what you had, your brain learns to identify these situations earlier so that you can live in the moment and enjoy people and experiences while they last.

 

I was thinking about this last week as I had one of those moments that I wanted to hold onto forever.  I ached for the ability to freeze time and make it last at least a little longer.  The occasion was a trip to Jost van Dyke with “my boys.”  I am blessed to have in my life four guys who all worked at Duffy’s and who simultaneously play the roles of friends, brothers, fathers, and sons.  They look out for me and they say that I take care of them, often referring to me as “mom.”  This is the first time I got to go to Jost with all four of them, and the occasion for the trip unfortunately is that one of them (Brad) is leaving the island for an indefinite period of time.  And Kevin will leave for the off-season shortly thereafter.  We enjoyed a fabulous day at Jost, which is really the only kind of day Jost offers.  The weather was gorgeous, sunny with a pleasant breeze. The water was its typical clear blue.  The hammocks as always were inviting us to rest a while.  It’s a time of pure companionship and no worries. 

 

Leaving Jost always turns us into children and we come dangerously close to throwing a tantrum, putting on our frowny faces and pouting about how we want to stay.  Todd was the bearer of bad news on this particular day, telling Kevin and I as we rested in a hammock that it was time to get back on the boat to go home.  We searched our minds for any possible way that we could stay, and decided it was useless.  Kevin kissed my forehead, assured both of us we would be back, and we climbed out of the hammock.  On the boat ride back to St Thomas, looking at my four boys with the sun setting around us is when it hit me that I can never have this very moment again.  My brain instantly calculated all the ways, tangible and intangible, that things will be changing soon and a gloom fell over me.  I grabbed my camera, took a picture of them, and then had someone take a picture of us all.  Then I hugged the stuffing out of each of them, returned to my seat, and quietly let the moment pass, as it must.

 

Ignorance may be bliss, as awareness of the fleeting nature of these joys in life can bring a deep sadness.  But I suppose we must ultimately consider such recognition a blessing because it forces us to truly live in the moment.  And that must be good, if only so you can squeeze that friend a little tighter, close your eyes and take a mental snapshot, and quietly give thanks that you will have this memory to comfort you in times ahead.

Heading home - Kevin, Todd, Brad, and PJ with his sister Renne

"Mom" had to join in.  Todd exclaims, "It's a family photo!"

The after-party - the boys at Island Time Pub

Welcome back!

Hello, everyone!  I do apologize for being offline so long.  There are a lot of reasons (excuses) I won't bore you with.  I just want to get back to writing.  I want to thank all of you who have asked me about the blog and prompted me to get it going again.  It makes me feel loved and supported to know that you are interested in my little life.  Thanks a million!

Details to come

Hey!  I've been hanging out, having fun, working some.  Had an awesome boat trip to Jost yesterday, enjoying company of friends and some hammock time simultaneously.  Check it out...

More details to come soon, for now, gonna run with Amber to get a wedge salad.  :)

Day trip

Hello!  I am finally enjoying some time off this week with no obligations... and loving it (imagine maxwell smart saying that last part).  My reprieve started yesterday, which was the first of 3 days off, after which I work 2 nights, then off for another 3.  I relaxed quite a bit yesterday but did get a few chores done (laundry and such).  Had plans to do the same today, but a friend invited me out for trip to BVI, which I am not known to turn down.  There's really nothing on a "to do" list that trumps a trip to BVI.  Let's be honest here.

I had a great day and finally have a couple pictures to show you.  The cool thing today is that we took a different route than I am used to and so I got to see some new areas and different sides of islands that I was already familiar with.  Most of the day was spent at Jost van Dyke, which you all know by now is my favorite.

If you ever get the chance to go to White Bay on Jost van Dyke, GO!  And take me with you!  Omg - laying in the hammock on the beach, feeling the ocean breeze as the sun warms your skin, ice cold Soggy Dollar painkiller in hand with the long leaves of the palm trees smacking together to create that soothing rustling sound - you just can't stop repeating to yourself that there can't be anything more perfect than this.  The white sand of the beach and the absolutely clear blue of the water there is just stunning.

Okay, now that I have that off my chest, here are pictures.  The first is me just before I got off the boat at White Bay.  The second is of a cool sailboat we saw as we were riding around on the boat today.  Which reminds me that I also wanted to point out that riding around on a boat through the Virgin Islands is such a therapeutic experience.  The beautiful scenery, the movement of the boat, the breezes, and the sunshine all combine to create such a soothing feeling.  It's so easy to see why people come here for vacation and instead of taking the flight back home, end up calling their family with requests to sell all they have and send them the money.

Beach party!

The parties continue in St Thomas.  On Tuesday we had a beach party loosely celebrate Kevin's return to the island, but really just to party.  It's been great to have him back on island and have it feel like old times.  So we all met at the guys' new favorite beach, Linquist.  It took the guys some time to start the fire for the grill (which was my entertainment for the day), and then Kevin cooked up some nice burnt hot dogs and such.  I stuck to brownies and potato chips.  Afterward we went to Island Time Pub for pizza (not burnt) and then poor Trish had to get some rest before going to work at 11PM.  Here are some pictures to tell the story of the day.

First of all, here's Kevin.

The order of the day is really to relax in the water with a beer.  We take turns being the one who has to go to shore for the beverages.  The guys like to play catch every now and then.  There are a couple stories about me getting not-so-satisfactory frisbees (and teased mercilessly for it) which Todd will be happy to tell.   On this day out we did not have a frisbee and I ended up using a leaf as one.  Before long we were having a great time tossing around a few large leaves that we found floating in the water, and we now have a new game called "Lily Pad Tossing."  It will soon be all the rage.  Just like children, it apparently doesn't take much to amuse us.  Anyway, this is what we looked like all day.

And here's Todd making a not-so-valiant effort to retrieve the ball.

There were about 10 of us in the water at one point, sipping on beer and tossing the ball around.  All of a sudden Todd yells out, "Hey, there are people sitting in cubicles right now."  We all had a respectful moment of silence for them, and then resumed the festivities.  Yes, here in the middle of the afternoon on a Tuesday, we were all out simply enjoying the weather, the water, and each other's company with no obligations cluttering our minds.  It is indeed good to be in St Thomas.

Halloween party

I think enough time has passed that I am finally ready and able to discuss Halloween in St. Thomas.  Wow, what a sight.  It was a crazy night to be sure.  I have a few pictures to show you, though much of the night was too scandalous for the blog.  The theme for Duffy's was red, white, and blue for the election so there were a few political costumes.  People were dancing and having a good time, typical St Thomas just in funnier clothes.  Here are some pics...

This is Sarah Palin and Luis, in the guise of a woman.  He surprisingly made a very convincing female and seemed all too comfortable in high-heel shoes...

This was a creative group, they came in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory costumes.  

And behind the bar we had Castro and Bill Clinton, otherwise known as Rich and Brandon.  Brandon mentioned in advance of the holiday that his Clinton mask scared his young son, and I can now sympathize.

Hope that you all had a great Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween, everyone!  

I will be heading out to Red Hook for Halloween festivities tonight.  I will bring my camera to see if I can snatch some photos of the events and finally have something to post.  

In the meantime, I can't stand the lack of pictures on the blog, so here's one from my full moon trip last May.  This is from White Bay on Jost van Dyke.