Goodbye St. Thomas

Just to get away from words and back to pictures for a bit, here are some of the scenes of my final days in St. Thomas. I did arrive back to the mainland this past Friday night. It was so hard to tear myself away, especially as my last stop before heading to the airport was to meet PJ and Todd at the beach (photo below). Sitting on the beach chair with friends, listening to the waves, and looking at the warm sand on my feet - with bushwhacker in hand of course - I certainly did not want to go. I am grateful for the friends I made there and for the absolutely wonderful memories I will cherish forever. I also recognize that there are other places to explore and more memories to be made. And with that, I say goodbye to St. Thomas, but I also whisper, "hope to see you again soon..."

And now photos...

This is from my last night at the hospital. These ladies are amazing. They took care of me from the start, always checking to make sure I was not homesick and encouraging me to have a good time in St. Thomas. They were very sweet in letting me know that I will be missed and I will miss them greatly as well.



I never did post photos of my apartment and so snapped a few as I was getting ready to head out the door on Friday. I lived in Point Pleasant Resort on the east end of the island. The staff there were always very friendly and felt like neighbors. It was comforting to give and receive greetings from them as I went about my day. They made me feel at home. And many thanks to the security guys who always kept an eye out for me.

And this is the final picture I took in St. Thomas, just moments before I headed to the airport. PJ is on the left and Todd is on the right. I am hoping it's the camera that is tilted and not us, but I'm not so sure... These guys kept me laughing and smiling and I am so grateful to them for including me in their island fun. They definitely made my stay an adventure.

Nagging Quote

As I mentioned a few posts ago, I have been reflecting on my time in St. Thomas and (as always) life in general. So if you care to sit with me a moment, I will share some ponderings which came to fruition this evening. And then I promise I will get back to travel stories and pretty pictures. :)

Since around the time I was heading to St. Thomas, I have been nagged by a quote - actually part of a quote - that I vaguely remembered reading in the preface to a book. I couldn't remember what book it was or when I read it and I certainly didn't remember the complete quote. But the gist of the quote was something about going out and returning to a place. The part that kept popping into my head was the ending, which went something like "and to know it as if for the first time."

During the past few days the quote has continued to come to my mind and now that I am back on the mainland (yes, I actually did come back!!) and on a high-speed internet connection, I decided to search for it online. Since I had such sketchy details of the quote this wasn't the easiest task. But I like a challenge and at long last was able to locate the quote. Very interesting indeed. Here it is...

We shall never cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

The text is from TS Eliot's poem "Little Gidding" which I have not yet read and I have no idea of its context or scholarly interpretations. But these words have come to have a particular meaning to me in light of my experiences and the reflections floating through my head since seeing my Willy T photo. My thoughts in recent days have been focusing on how we see ourselves. It seems to me that we know ourselves only in part. In fact others may recognize some of our attributes more easily than we do because they see us through a different lens (with different baggage) and in some ways see us more objectively. And I have been concluding that part of our purpose/journey in life may be to seek experiences that will help us "come into ourselves" or in other words to know ourselves more fully, to develop a complete picture of who we are.

And then it begins to fascinate me that this quote from TS Eliot kept returning to my thoughts. And the words which I didn't really understand before are now starting to make sense to me. I think the place we "come to know" by exploring this world is ourselves. That captures what I was feeling with my Willy T posting -- that in going to St Thomas I went out exploring and then came to know myself as if for the first time. I didn't necessarily change. At least on a fundamental level. No, I "arrived where [I] started" -- back to myself, the same person I was before and have always been. But now I know myself ("that place") more fully and so, in some sense, have changed. Changed because how I see myself affects how I carry myself and how I make decisions for the rest of the journey. And indeed I hope that I "shall never cease from exploration." And I wish you all the best in your explorations as well.

Triumph

Just had to share this photo. Remember the ring/hook game at White Bay on Jost? On the trip there last month everyone was gathered around to play the game and there was a lot of trash-talking going on. And then... yours truly stepped up to the plate and got the ring on the hook on the very first attempt! Todd captured me in the throws of triumph in this really great photo.

You Go, Girl!

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I went off island May 19-20 with friends on a trip to the BVI. Todd was our designated photographer and I just got the pictures from him today. The picture above stopped me in my tracks. This is a photo me jumping off the Willy T.

As a bit of background, you may remember from a posting in January that the Willy T is a ship off Norman Island that serves drinks & food to those who pull up alongside the boat and climb on board. It is noteworthy because it has a tradition of people jumping off the ship into the water (historically ladies without clothes in exchange for a free t-shirt, but those days are over, probably because giving away all the shirts cut into their profits). Whenever one mentions that they went to the Willy T, the listener invariably asks if they jumped off. So, taking the big leap off the Willy T made my list of things to do before leaving the islands. The jump, by the way, is made from standing on the top rail of that banister you see on the second deck. And the water is so clear that you can see the ocean floor.

When I came across this picture I instantly became a little emotional and was taken aback by how symbolic it is of my time here. It’s one of those photographs where a picture is worth a thousand words. I am going to use a few of those thousand words to try and convey the thoughts that flooded my mind as I saw this snapshot...

I look and can hardly believe that’s me.
Thirty year-old me.
In the gorgeous British Virgin Islands.
Jumping off the Willy T, into the water down below,
with a crowd of swimmers and friends shouting my name.

Who is this woman? The woman in this photograph exudes freedom, security, confidence, playfulness, happiness... I want to be like her. I want to live wide open like that, unafraid. I want to be one who jumps bravely into the unknown. And as I’m looking at the photo I recall the words, so fresh in my mind, of a 40 year-old woman I met just last night who cried out, “Look at you!! I want to be you! You are out here on your own, doing what you love. I would never be able to do what you are doing.” And I finally start to internalize these sentiments, which echo what many have told me before. I start to believe that I did in fact take a courageous leap - feet first - just in coming here. How hard it is to break the cycle of inertia and make a change for yourself. I was uncertain what would become of me. And now look at how I ended up: stronger, more outgoing, more secure, more adventurous, wiser, not to mention more tan :). And as I gaze upon the clouds, lush greenery, and water in this photograph, I am confident that this world is a beautiful place. And that woman flying through the air looks like she can make it in that world. Oh how I hope she does...